Elections are sooo last year.
What’s that you say? Elections are topical this year? You’d never know it, the way the Team Glee sprinted through the race for class president in this week’s episode.
Last year the class prez storyline was a big deal that spanned several unicorn-poster-filled episodes and culminated with Rachel stuffing the ballot box for Kurt but Brittany winning anyway.
This time around the entire process, from candidate sign-up to victory party, took place in one episode.
Brit was eager to keep her post as a second-time senior, but Blaine planned to take over the office to help stay busy. Because if his schedule was packed, maybe he wouldn’t notice Kurt’s absence quite so much. Maaaaybe.
The addition of the office of vice president was Brittany’s clever solution to getting to hold the title of president without having to make decisions. Artie was easily persuaded to be her running mate so Brit could form what she considered a human-slash-robot team and he could impress the ladies. Blaine went with Sam to get the votes of straight folks who sympathize with poor people.
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Blaine and Artie attempted to mentally make over their running mates in order to win votes, but the true Sam and Brittany came out during the debates. Sam ended up stripping partway while Brit declared such a love for her school that she desired no weekend or summer breaks.
This declaration, possibly mixed with Blaine’s logically sound argument that Brit’s banning of hair gel at prom could easily lead to her burning people alive, gave Team Blam the victory. But Blaine quickly realized the whole thing was bittersweet without Kurt around. The fact that Kurt wouldn’t answer his phone when Blaine called with the results did not help matters and set up what looks to be Potential Breakup No. 1 for next week.
But of course the main makeover the episode title refers to was for Rachel in NY, total rom-com style. By that I mean the entire setup was ludicrously unrealistic and took an already cute girl and transformed her into a still-cute girl with more makeup and a wardrobe she could never ever afford.
This was another storyline that really avoided beating around the bush.
In the beginning Kurt had merely landed an interview at Vogue.com with a new senior editor played by Sarah Jessica Parker. SJP hired Kurt on the spot and had basically adopted him as her BFF by the end of the show.
I get that Kurt’s hippo brooch is fabulous, but its wide open mouth must have magical gut-spilling powers that cause the people in Kurt’s presence to profess their secrets to him. Why else would SJP tell this kid she just hired how much she wants to reinvent herself and how discouraged she feels?
Anyway, once Kurt had a key card to get into Vogue’s offices, and more importantly, fashion closets, he and Rachel went over in the middle of the night to play dress up. SJP discovered them (what was she doing there anyway?), but instead of being angry, she saw the perfect opportunity to play dress-up and sing a delightful mash-up.
So Rachel finally ditched her childish sweaters in favor of dark scoop-neck tops, which made her feel transformed enough to ask Brody over for a dinner date. And just as they started making out, guess who knocked on the door. Finn, of course, with absolutely no buzz cut. So he’s going to have to explain some things. Here comes Potential Breakup No. 2.
Meanwhile back in Ohio, Schue was facing a crisis in creativity and motivation. Sue tried to explain that since he’d achieved his dream of winning Nationals, he would no longer find inspiration in his regular old job and should accept a future of alcoholism and obesity.
But at a meeting with other show choir directors, he heard that some were losing funding that would keep them from competing that year. And yet there happened to be a blue-ribbon panel forming soon to evaluate the future of arts funding in schools.
So Schue decided to use his clout as director of the reigning show choir national champions to apply to be on the panel, but only after Emma approved his goal. The position would require him to spend months away from Lima, which he worried would be detrimental to their future plans together.
But Emma seemed totally on board with him pursuing this dream. Funny how minds change easily, which I’m afraid may be the case judging from what looked like Potential Breakup No. 3 in next week’s previews.
On a brighter note, here are some highlights of makeover week:
Best musical number – Whoever arranged the mashup of “The Way You Look Tonight” and “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile” is kinda brilliant. Plus “Annie” is a total trump card in my book. Only thing that could have made it better: Boylan sisters.
Best Sue-ism – “William is a direct descendent of Harriet Tubman.” I wonder if she had a butt chin? You thought I was going to say that thing about crop-dusting and the sweaty butt crack, didn’t you? I was trying to save us all from remembering that imagery.
Best Brittany line – “I’d rather be Landing Strip.”
And what shouldn’t have made the cut:
Worst musical number – All those Britney Spears songs from last week. Yeah… I’m still not over that. And also “A Change Would Do You Good,” because Sheryl Crow songs should not be so hyper.
Theme we don’t need to hear any more about – “New York is for dreamers.” Can’t you just show us that NYC is super life-altering and magical (cliché… sigh) without spoon-feeding us unimaginative dialogue via an actress who can handle more complexity?
Moronic NY newbie comment of the week – How do you not know about Gray’s Papaya? It’s in like every NY movie ever.