Sunday night’s “Real Housewives of New Jersey” Reunion Part 2 was a continuation of “your mama” insults, blinding gold eyeshadow, and golden boobs. There was a lot more haterade action between Teresa and Melissa, but Jacqueline, of course, found a way of sticking it to Tre, revealing a lot of dirty laundry about meatball Joe Giudice’s libido and his resentment towards his cookbook-crazed wife.
Before Joe calls Teresa the “C-word” again and Andy Cohen pauses awkwardly to call someone’s bluff, let’s get this animal house on the road…
After Kathy’s sis Rosie wipes her nose and her badonka donk from her flip out caused by Teresa insulting her deceased pops, she comes on stage to make a point that Kathy and her have a sisterly relationship that is unbreakable.
Speaking with a hoarse voice from all the yelling she did backstage, Rosie defends her newly Tweety Bird-lipped sis and says the latter was always supportive of her being a lesbian, despite what Teresa had said on the show.
My head spins and my eyes go cross-eyed at the sight of Kathy’s new Mr. Potato Head schnoz.
As Teresa and Kathy get into it about their parents, Caroline tries to be the wise one by warning Tre that her 15 minutes of fame will be gone before she knows it and that she’ll end up being alone…but I figure if Mother Hen were really wise, 1) She wouldn’t be on the show and 2) She wouldn’t try to reason with brick.
When Andy brings up the California trip, the idea that Caroline bullied Teresa throughout the season comes up. Teresa runs with it, but Caroline demands her to give just one example of when she had bullied Teresa. The Swamp Hair in the Green Dress blinks dumbly but does admit that she regrets having bullied Danielle Staubgoblin.
Watch Caroline Defend Herself:
Caroline brings on the interesting parallels of Tre feeling hurt by Melissa and Kathy coming on the show when they weren’t on good terms to Tre inviting her sis Dina this season to talk smack about Caroline. “It was a knife in my heart,” she tells Teresa, who again, feigns ignorance on how it could possibly hurt Caroline’s feelings. (The Manzo sisters are still not on speaking terms.)
In sisters-in-law saga, Teresa accuses Melissa of lip syncing, which causes a really dumb exchange of the two singing in each other’s mugs to prove a point; (Andy’s face lights up in giddy delight). Melissa reveals she and her meatball hubby Joe Gorga have moved away because they don’t want Teresa and Joe Giudice’s daughters to play Mean Girls to their kids.
After talking about flicking godzilla-sized boogers around the set and sipping on some of Andy’s Red Bull to wake himself up, Joe Giudice lets the host question his nether region activities. Regarding the mysterious phone call at the California vineyard, Joe claims he was talking to an old male friend named “Albie” and that Albie gave the phone to a Spanish guy, which caused Joe to speak to him in Italian. Upon hearing this, Andy’s mouth stays open but nothing comes out.
As for calling Tre the “C-word,” Joe says it was out of character for him and regrets it. When Andy directly asks him if he’s ever cheated on Tre, he looks Andy in the eyes and says “never.”
Watch Joe Discuss the Infamous Phone Call:
Jacqueline hesitates at hearing the Meatball’s responses, but Teresa shoots back by saying Jacqueline’s hubby Chris has creeped on her, which Jacqueline wholeheartedly denies. In retaliation, the heavy-bosomed brunette blurts out some whammies: She says that Teresa knows all about Joe’s pasty-pumping adulteries and that he was caught with their secretary, babysitter, and with someone on a desk (we hope he had a step ladder).
Jacqueline also adds that Joe normally calls Tre the “C-word” and that the troubled couple punch each other when they’re quarreling; if you’re visualizing this and are considering their heights, this means that Tre is viciously punching air, while Joe is TKO-ing his wife’s stomach.
Keeping his cool despite Jacqueline’s throw-up accusations, Joe ends the night with a classy burp. It was the Red Bull, we assume.
Watch Jacqueline say that Joe cheated on Teresa:
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