‘Parenthood’: Kristina Gets Stoned, Plus the Most Awkward Sex Talk in Television History

'Parenthood's' Monica Potter (Photo: NBC)

One of the funniest scenes in “Parenthood” history was in Season 2 when Adam (Peter Krause) accidentally ate a marijuana-laced lollipop. This week, it’s his wife’s turn to smoke pot, though she has good reason.

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Adam freaks out that Kristina (Monica Potter) has agreed to take care of Max’s (Max Burkholder) friend Micah, who uses a wheelchair, for the weekend since she is still recovering from chemo. Adam’s especially galled that the kid’s parents are going to Vegas for the weekend, not asking them to babysit Micah due to a family emergency. Hey, Adam, stop browbeating your wife who is recovering from chemo. It’s chaos as the puppy pees on the carpet while Nora cries. Kristina pukes while she is climbing the stairs. It’s an afternoon of bodily fluids. Then Max and Micah start arguing about everything. Adam implores him to be a better host and do the activities that Micah likes. Max tries to appeal to Kristina and ends up seeing her lying on the bathroom floor, weak and covered with puke.

To help Kristina, Adam interrupts Crosby’s party (see below), with Nora, Max and Micah in tow, hoping to score some of his brother’s stash of pot. He also grossly looks at Jasmine’s thong. Kristina really enjoys Crosby’s Grade-A weed. Then she falls asleep. After Micah leaves, they have a good laugh about his parents graphic description of their Sin City sexcapades. Kristina announces she is going to need more weed. Get a medical marijuana card, Kristina. You are part of the one percent of Californians who actually need it. She thanks Adam for taking care of everything this weekend. She thought she would avoid getting sick from chemo, but realizes she’s not “superwoman.”

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Ryan (Matt Lauria) cancels dinner plans with Amber (Mae Whitman), explaining he has to go to a funeral for a war buddy named Evan. Amber offers to join him. Ryan reminisces about Evan with other members of his platoon. Two guys get into a fight about whether or not Evan was a coward because he committed suicide. Ryan steps between them. Later he gets into a huge brawl with the guy who called Evan a coward, beating him to a pulp. Amber is understandably freaked. Ryan starts crying. The next morning, he apologizes to her and says he will understand if she breaks up with him. She assures him she is not leaving her hot, damaged-in-all-the-right-ways boyfriend. He assures her that he will not kill himself. On the way home, they stop at the beach and play in the ocean. It’s a gorgeously filmed scene, like “Parenthood’s” answer to “From Here to Eternity”

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Mark (Jason Ritter) walks in on Drew (Miles Hizer) and Amy having sex. Awkward! Amy slinks out of the house. Mark and Drew apologize to each other. Mark awkwardly has the condom talk with him. Drew points out that it’s none of his business if Amy is on the pill. Seriously. You’re her teacher, Mark! Mark counters that it became his business when Drew had sex in his house. So was Drew supposed to sneak back into Camille and Zeek’s guesthouse to get some action? Sarah forced him to move in with Mark. Mark is not Drew’s step-dad. The conversation gets so graphic that I’m uncomfortable as Mark questions Drew about Amy’s sexual history, warns him against going condom-less if she is on the pill, and generally oversteps his role as Mom’s Boyfriend by leaps and bounds. Drew asks Mark not to tell Sarah. Sarah wants to know how Amy and Drew reunited. Mark does the worst job of covering, then tells Sarah about the sex walk-in. Sarah freaks out. Mark tells her that she has to pretend she doesn’t know. Sarah reluctantly agrees. She asks Hank (Ray Romano) about the situation, he’s uncomfortable with the conversation, but says he tells his daughter there are no secrets in parenting. Sarah quizzes Drew about him and Amy. Mark blurts out that he told Sarah. Drew is angry and hurt and heads to his room. Sarah is annoyed that Mark butted in. She later apologizes, admitting she doesn’t know how to co-parent.

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The not-Dillon Panthers have another little league game. Apparently Victor’s afternoon speaking Espanol with his friend from the wrong side of the tracks in the previous episode has suddenly made him popular, because now his teammates have invited him to join in the post-game milkshakes. Sydney is annoyed that she, Julia (Erika Christensen) and Joel are joining Victor’s buddies instead of going skating like she was promised. At the lunch, one of the other parents describes Victor’s adoption as “so cool.” Hee! Sydney brattily says that Victor is not her brother. Then she throws water all over his fries. Sydney, sadly, is the most realistic entitled Yuppie child on television. Joel and Julia need to send her to her room like they did last season. The other parent asks, “Was she adopted too?” Ha! Sydney announces that she is running away to her friend’s house, kid-style with a stuffed animal in her tiny suitcase. Sydney cries that her parents only want to spend time with Victor, not her. She whines that she was there first. The next day, Joel proposes that they spend some one-on-one time with Sydney. Julia disagrees with rewarding her for a tantrum, but Joel thinks she is acting out because she has been getting less attention. They take her skating and talk about how siblings fight, but it’s great to have brothers. Sydney pretends to understand, but she so wants to murder Victor. The girl is the bad seed.

Jasmine (Joy Bryant) is in bed with a shirtless Crosby (Dax Shepard). I start humming “Beauty and the Beast.” Last week, a reader brought to my attention that although Joel (Sam Jeager) is quite the hottie, we never get to see him shirtless. If any “Parenthood” producers are reading this, please rectify this tragic error. Jasmine reminds Crosby that they are hosting 18 parents from Jabbar’s class for dinner. Crosby predictably sulks and blows off his share of the pre-party chores. They have the same argument that they always have. Jasmine calls him a freeloader. He calls her a dictator. Can’t the writers come up with something new for them? At the party, everyone praises Crosby’s mix tape and thinks he is an amazing host, Jasmine is furious. After the party, Crosby apologizes and everything is magically fine between them, though she does make Crosby clean up.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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