It turns out that “Gossip Girl” is actually Gossip Boy.
In the long-running show’s series finale Monday night, the identity of the titular blogger who cruelly revealed every character’s secrets was finally revealed. It was none other than Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgeley).
In retrospect it made sense. The guy has done nothing but write about his wealthier classmates. In high school, he wrote a short story about Serena that was improbably published in The New Yorker. After graduation, he wrote a fictionalized account of his teen years which both landed him on the best seller list and made him a ton of enemies. This season, he wrote a memoir which was bring serialized by Vanity Fair. Dan’s motivation was to become an insider in the world of wealth and privilege by writing about it. A
flashback, which almost managed to look convincing thanks to clever costuming and hairstyling revealed that, back before the series began Dan crashed a party had a brief, awkward conversation with Serena about Hello Kitty, of all things, and was inspired by his new muse to create the blog. He wrote his first entry about himself, using the not that mean nickname Lonely Boy when Serena returned from boarding school in the pilot.
Catch Up on a Recent Episode of “Gossip Girl”:
All of the cruel posts about his little sister Jenny, including the one about the loss of her virginity to Chuck, were done with her approval. She knew being gossiped about was the key to social success. Dan gave the scoop to Nate (Chace Crawford) so that he could publish in in the Spectator and save the struggling vaguely defined media entity. His friends were angry for a few minutes, but even Serena (Blake Lively) had to acknowledge that as much as he hurt them he also made them all legends.
The other major event of the finale was the wedding of Chuck (Ed Westwick) and Blair (Leighton Meester). After Chuck did nothing to stop his father Bart plunge off a building to his death (which seemed more permanent than his last death on the show), the two escaped from the police in the trunk of Chuck’s limo.
It was Chuck’s slimy Uncle Jack who suggested the two avoid legal trouble by getting married.They were engaged to be engaged anyway, so Blair pulled out the ring she has been wearing around her neck and Chuck gets down on one knee and said, “Blair Cornelia Waldorf will you marry me.” Knowing how important Blair’s wedding was to her, Chuck refused to settle for City Hall. Instead, with an assist from super schemer Georgina (Michelle Trachtenberg), Chair had an outdoor ceremony that was officiated by Cyrus (Wallace Shawn). The bride wore Elie Saab. The vows were brief because the cops were en route. The plan worked. Given the utter lack of evidence and Blair’s refusal to answer questions about her new husband, no charges were filed against Chuck.
- At the end of the episode, the show jumped forward five years. Chuck and Blair have an adorable son named Henry.
- Nate is a media mogul who is considering running for mayor. He would be New York City’s youngest (and stupidest) mayor ever. Fortunately, he is no longer with Sage.
- Everyone gathers for Dan and Serena’s wedding. Serena wears a truly hideous ballgown with a gold lame skirt. We learn that Jack and Georgina are a couple (yes!).
- Eric (Connor Paolo) and Jenny (Taylor Momsen) return for the occasion. They each have about two lines. The camera doesn’t even focus on Jenny.The show really hates Momsen. Paolo does not speak with the ridiculous accent he has on “Revenge.”
- Sorry Lily (Kelly Rutherford) and Rufus (Matthew Settle) shippers. They do not reunite. Lily gets back together with Serena’s slimy father (William Baldwin). Rufus, randomly, is with singer Lisa Loeb, apparently bonded by their experience of being 1990s one hit wonders.
- When the news of Gossip Girl’s identity broke, seemingly the entire city of New York reacted in shock. In the episode’s funniest moment, the voice of Gossip Girl, Kristen Bell, appeared as herself playing Serena in the movie version of Dan’s novel. Blair was played by Rachel Bilson.
- Mayor Bloomberg made a cameo as himself. He, like much of the audience, thought Dorota was Gossip Girl.