Who’s gonna be Mrs. Sean Lowe? The foreshadowing will explode tonight on the premiere of ABC’s the “Bachelor” (8/7c), and you won’t believe how things have changed…and how some things have stayed the same!
For those of you who can’t wait to: laugh; laugh at the contestants’ crying; see Chris Harrison‘s new shade of hair color; and puke at the “amazing journey” about to unfold, here are seven reasons why you’ll love the season premiere:
1. Sean gets a surprise visit from one of his buds from Emily Maynard’s season, and you won’t believe the kind of tongue-licious tips the mystery guest gives the Texan!
2. Discover which bachelorette contestant says arguably the dumbest quote of the night: “Some people can live without love and be fine. But I’m the opposite.” (Umm, do you know anyone who’s fine living without love? Oh wait. Right. Gollum from “Lord of the Rings” is.)
3. A bachelorette born with one arm will hope Sean looks past her disability!
4. Who knew that Sean was open to a diverse pool of ladies? You go, boy! I counted not one but FIVE minorities in the massive group of desperate egg donors! (Or this might just be the way the network avoids more discrimination lawsuits?)
5. A chick from last season’s “Bachelor Pad” will by vying for Sean’s body, body…Hint: She’s got a bad case of vocal fry and her head is shaped like a pineapple. She was also feeling some butterflies for Reid Rosenthal back in the day.
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6. Instead of the normal 25 contestants, there’s one veteran bachelorette who was desperate to come on board in hopes to find love with Mr. Towhead! Hint: She was fourth runner up on Ben Flajnik‘s season…she also has a bad case of sleepy eyes and a subtle snaggletooth.
7. Sean becomes the most unconventional Bachelor evahhh(!) and decides to bend the rules by handing out roses to gals he immediately finds his golden cojones fluttering towards. Tension and pathetic woe-is-me tears abound!
Preview Monday’s Premiere of “The Bachelor”:
[iframe http://xfinitytv.comcast.net/watch/The-Bachelor/7846086607871461112/2318578400/I-m-the-Bachelor!/embed 580 476]
Empathize with my pain and watch the season premiere of ABC’s “Bachelor” tonight at 8/7c.