After a whirlwind of breaking hearts and dismissing demonic eyebrows and faux hypothermic seizures, Sean Lowe is ready to NOT be a “Bachelor” anymore! His eight-week journey of kissing like a fifth grader and showing off his double D’s has now boiled down to him getting on one knee and proposing to The One, and according to him, it will be forevahhh! So, which pretty young thing will it be? Mousey Lindsay Yenter? Or giggly Catherine Giudici?
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As a precursor to the “most dramatic season fi-nahl-ay in ‘Bachelor’ history,” we’ve listed the pros and cons of each lady to decipher which one is worthy of birthing some Texan babies! Yeehaw!!!
– She has the same life goals as Sean Juan.
– Her family got along with Sean as easy as pie.
– She looks like Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
– She was more interesting as a drunk in a bridal dress at the premiere of the show than she is now.
– Having the same life goals could translate into a very boring, predictable life—and doesn’t every guy like a challenge?
– Did we mention she’s pretty dang boring?
– Her quirks keep Sean interested and laughing.
– She’s ambitious and wants to have a serious career.
– Her and Sean’s future children will have a chance at not burning up in the sun.
– Her life goals may not seamlessly align with Sean’s life goals.
– She seems like someone who could possibly be emotional fickle.
– Her grandmother may sexually harass Sean til his dying day.
Watch the “Bachelor: The Women Tell All” Special:
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Guess we’ll just have to wait and see who Sean decides to be the Neil Lane recipient tonight on the “Bachelor” 3-hour finale!