‘Dallas’: A Car Crash, a Wedding, and a Mystery Woman in a Giant Hat

"Dallas" (TNT)

It’s hard to believe that we’re already at the penultimate episode of the second season of “Dallas,” To be more precise, it’s two episodes back-to-back. After everything that the Ewings have been through this season, it’s a delight this week to watch Bobby and John Ross come together to figure out how to fill J.R.’s boots. They’ve got the plan and the quips and the family loyalty. Here are the highlights, as represented by the week’s best dialogue.

[xfinity-record-button id=”6635112053037514112″ program_type=”series”]

My father took down three senators, two governors and a vice president. And he taught me everything he knows. Your head’s going to look real nice above my fireplace, Governor.” – John Ross to the Governor

Did the writers just claim J.R.(Larry Hagman) destroyed Spiro Agnew? That is awesome. I could spend all day trying to figure out which political scandals J.R. engineered. I’m going with John Edwards, Mark Sanford and Arnold Schwarzenegger. The fictional Texas governor, played by Steven Weber, who shall henceforth be known as Governor Wings, makes a speech on the Henderson property about the pipeline the state will be building on the property he seized via eminent domain. Would such blatant socialism really go over well in Texas? The Ewings let him know that they are aware he is colluding with Cliff and Harris to destroy their company. He is not overly concerned, though he warns the two villains that if he goes down, they will suffer, too.

Just feeling the seeds from all the lies I’ve sown come back to bite me in the ass .” – John Ross to Elena

Bobby (Patrick Duffy) advocates doubling down on J.R.’s plan, and putting more effort into tracking down possibly dead Pam. I would think he and Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe) might want to find her for some emotional reasons, too.  Christopher points out that they it would be a lot more expedient to get Pamela(Julie Gonzalo) on their side by revealing Cliff (Ken Kercheval) blew up her babies. John Ross (Josh Henderson) surprisingly is against it because he is worried it will destroy her.J.R.’s death permanently made everyone more three dimensional. Christopher rightly points out that she deserves to know the truth. So John Ross breaks the news to her. She does not want to believe that her father is capable of doing something so horrible, at least to her. She thinks all of John Ross’s kindness since her miscarriage was manipulation. He laments the situation to Elena. In retrospect, Ann (Brenda Strong) should have been the one who told Pamela. They always had a bond.

Cliff apologizes to Pamela for not visiting in the hospital, saying it would have broken his heart. Even if he were telling the truth, he’d still be the worst father ever. He gives her the annulment paper, as if they will make it up to her. She tells him the Ewings have accused him of sabotage. He claims they are lying and he will get revenge on her behalf by taking back everything that was stolen from Digger Barnes.

Watch the Latest Episode of “Dallas”:

Stupid raccoon in the road.” – Emma to Ann

Ann , who is wearing a shirt with ugly shoulder cut outs,  finds Emma’s (Emma Bell) pills. She tells her that Sue Ellen saw her high as a kite, flirting with an older man. Emma denies being high, but claims Sue Ellen was drunk and is trying to preemptively make her look bad. She says Ann can keep the pills because she no longer needs them. She is good. Sue Ellen assures Ann that she is back on the wagon and if she was drinking when she saw Emma. She claims she hasn’t had one since the funeral. She adds that being a mother is about doing the hard things even though Emma may hate her for it.

Emma asks a hot stable hand/bull rider, McCabe, for prescription pain killers. She offers him sex in exchange. Drew sees them kissing. He threatens to tell the Feds about Harris (Mitch Pileggi) having him beaten if Emma stays with him. She walks away with McCabe then crushes and snorts pills. She is full on “Valley of the Dolls” at this point. She later says she can’t see Drew again because Harris will kill him.

Emma asks Harris if he made Drew build the bomb to separate them. Harris twists it so that it’s all Emma’s fault for losing control and creating chaos. He agrees to get her more medication if she moves back in with him. On the drive back to Southfork, she flips her car, hilariously blaming it on a raccoon. Ann decides not to bail her out until she agrees to rehab.

“I spent my whole life trying to get him to notice me, trying to get him to love me. But he was never going to love me more than he hates your family.” – Pamela to John Ross

Cliff buys the Ewings loans then demands that they come up with the 200 million balance in the next 24 hours. John Ross tells Pamela  to ask Cliff why he wants a company facing a one billion dollar fine, pointing out that he could only think it’s a good deal if he knows Christopher’s methane technology works. Cliff brings Pamela flowers and acknowledges that he plans to make billions on Christopher’s technology. Then he says her babies would have tied her to the Ewings forever. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. That is the cruelest, sickest thing that anyone has ever said on this show. She calmly goes to put away the flowers then breaks down in private. She goes to John Ross in the middle of a convenient rain storm to tell him that he was right. He picks her up and carries her inside. Swoon. They have gentle, sweet sex. “I want to hurt him as much as he’s hurt me” Pamela pillow talks.

Are you doing this because you love me or because you hate your father? I do.” – John Ross and Pamela

Cliff, not realizing Pamela is now on Team Ewing, takes her to lunch. He gives her a pair of emerald earrings that belonged to her Aunt Katherine.  She persuades him to give her Katherine’s shares instead. Bobby, who hired Bum to spy on them, tells John Ross, who is perturbed that Pamela hasn’t mentioned she now owns a third of Barnes Oil. He asks if his nephew loves Pamela. He says this isn’t about love. It’s about their family. Pamela tells John Ross she got the shares. He says he can’t trust her. They’re too much alike. What’s to stop her from siding with herself. She gives him her word if that she won’t. He says actions speak louder. He texts Bobby that he will have her shares by morning. The next time we see them, they’re getting married, with some unique vows. Yes! A thousand times yes! They are the show’s best couple.

“Christopher, your mother’s alive.” – Elena to Christopher

Christopher learns that Pam seemingly dropped off the face of the earth in 1989. He asks Ellis the AUSA to have her declared legally dead. Ellis finds that someone is making deposits to a Swiss bank account in the same amounts as the payments to the Pamela Ewing trust. A woman named Patricia Barrett has signed the deposit slips. Her handwriting matches Pam’s.She could get a more creative pseudonym. A Zurich banker emails the Ewings a photo of Pamela.It’s a woman wearing a big hat and sunglasses. Bobby can’t tell if it’s her. Maybe it’s Alexis Carrington in the best crossover ever.

 “Let Barnes have his day. Let that bastard go all in and think he’s won. Let him be the architect of his own disaster. Well, big brother, as you wish.” – Bobby to the Ewings

The loan is due. The Ewings can’t come up with the money. However, Pamela is once again a Ewing. Drew left a written confession of his role in the explosion, leading to the arrest of Harris’s hench man. Though the charges didn’t stick, Drew is determined to find proof that Harris is behind the explosion and is running drugs. In other words, things are not as bleak as they appear. So Bobby literally hands Cliff the keys to Ewing Energy then walks out with a smirk. It’s a beautiful thing. In heaven, J.R. toasts him with a glass of bourbon.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

, , , , ,

Comments are closed.