The ever-inappropriate Kardashians were back in fine form this week on “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.”
Sunday’s episode opened with Kim, Khloé and Rob Kardashian discussing Rob’s newest career plan: to start his very own porn company. Khloé expresses her disgust, but Rob says he has Khloé’s hubby Lamar Odom’s backing, not to mention the expertise needed to succeed thanks to countless hours researching the topic on the Internet. Cue the opening theme.
Next, we hit the road with Kris Jenner and Kim. Following a particularly graphic chat about post-pregnancy sex, the pair heads to a cosmetics store to pick up some hair supplies. As in, 15 paddle brushes. Sadly, the fun is interrupted when Kim gets a text saying her new house won’t be ready until February, leaving her homeless with a baby on the way. Uh oh.
Skip to Kim and Kourtney discussing Kim’s complicated living situation. The sisters call up Mom and ask if she knows of any houses for rent in the area. Kris has a better idea… Kim should move into the Jenner house to save money (shouldn’t have bought all those paddle brushes), plus Kris can help with the baby! Every momanger’s dream.
But Kim logically explains that she could never do that. No, not because she doesn’t want to move back in with mommy at 32 years old, but because Kris’s house has black-tiled showers and black toilet paper and that would drive Kim insane. Obviously.
Moving on to Bruce’s brood, “Bruiser,” Brody and Brandon Jenner are caught up in a vicious game of ping pong. After several rounds, Brandon and Bruce decide to take the competition to another level and enter a table tennis tournament to determine who really is the best. Forrest Gump would be proud.
Watch Sunday Night’s Episode of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” Below:
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Next we head to Kourtney and Scott Disick’s house, where we find the couple cleaning out their freezer. They are interrupted by a phone call from Kim, who can’t quite figure out how to put together (or hire someone to put together) a stroller for the baby. Scott volunteers to help her out, a polite move that only annoys Kourtney because he never assisted her with Mason and Penelope’s strollers. This leads us to the real question: Where has Mason been all season?
Bruce is just four days away from the big ping pong tournament. He kindly asks midriff-baring Kendall and Kylie for help, but the busy teens are only able to give about him ten seconds of their attention before turning back to their cell phones. Bruce is forced to ask Cruz, the family housekeeper, to play with him. Considering Cruz has never played ping pong before in her life, it looks like Bruce is in trouble.
Scott heads over to Kim’s house, where he finds her lying in bed wearing a pair of nude-colored Spanx. “Your voluptuous pregnant body shouldn’t be wearing bike shorts,” Scott quips. “There’s a lot going on there.” Kim decides to throw on some pants and shows Scott the impossible stroller. He puts it together in record time and even takes a photo to send along to Kim’s beau Kanye West, who seems to have disappeared completely.
Brandon hires professional ping-pong player Soo Yeon Lee to train in secret for the big match. Quite a step up from Cruz the housekeeper. Bruce shows up at Brandon’s house unexpectedly and Soo Yeon is forced to run out the back door so Brandon’s plan isn’t discovered.
Meanwhile, being the competitive former Olympian that he is, Bruce’s tactic for training for the big tournament at the Malibu Inn is to order the most expensive ping pong ball machine in the land.
At an early dinner with Scott and Kim, Kim admits that Kanye has never held a baby and she “doesn’t like most kids.” All good signs. Kim says she wants to take a CPR class, and Scott volunteers to go with her. He then calls Kourtney and they get into another fight about the amount of time he is spending with Kim, who may or may not be wearing a dog collar.
Kim and Scott go to CPR class where Scott, as usual, makes inappropriate jokes about the mannequins. Instructor Jason teaches them how to do the Heimlich maneuver, CPR and the conga! When he returns home, Scott gets into another fight with Kourtney for being “shady” and not telling her about the class, complete with dramatic black-and-white flashbacks of Scott being lazy while Kourtney was heavily pregnant.
Kim and Kris search potential places for Kim to live but, despite a tennis court, pool, and Hermes-orange living room, the monumental palace just isn’t right for Kim and baby. After the tour, Kris finally convinces a reluctant Kim to move into the family house. A beaming Kris exclaims, “I have a roommate!” Obviously Kylie, Kendall, and Bruce don’t count.
The day is here. The Malibu Inn Ping Pong Tournament. Brandon’s sugary sweet wife Leah “accidentally” spills to Bruce, in her adorable voice, that Brandon has been training with a professional coach this whole time.
Seriously, let’s just have a show where Leah reads bedtime stories. I’d watch. Back to the tournament… The games start and the Jenner boys begin taking down competitors left and right. Unfortunately, Bruce loses to a guy wearing a “Big Lebowski” t-shirt. Brandon goes on to take second place and everyone wins. Actually, they all lost.
It’s the middle of the day at the Jenner’s and Kris is drinking white wine. Standard. Bruce, Scott and Khloé are helping move Kim’s stuff into the house. In walks Kourtney, who is still mad at Scott for continuing to help her extremely pregnant sister. Kris, still drinking, warns Kourtney that she is acting “jelly.” Scott offers the only obvious answer: “Don’t get mad at me. Get mad at Kim for being pregnant.” Kourtney storms out.
Back at their own house, Kourtney and Scott have a heart-to-heart on the terrace, where Scott admits that he wasn’t always there for Kourtney during both of her pregnancies but wants to make it up to her in the future. Kourtney responds with a simple “okay” and the epic fight is over. Happy endings all around.
Finally, we find Princess Kim all settled at the Jenner’s humble home. Kris immediately starts pampering her by bringing her water, rubbing her feet and telling her she is gorgeous. Kim finally admits that moving home was the right choice. (P.S. Still no signs of Kanye.)
Next week: The family takes a trip to Greece. Kris and Brody get in a fight. There’s a turtle. See you then!
“Keeping Up with the Kardashians” airs Sundays at 9/8c on E!