‘Kardashians’ Recap: The Kardashian’s Big Fat Greek Vacation (Part 1)

Rob Kardashian (Photo: E!)

Sunday night’s episode of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” marks the first of the show’s three-part vacation extravaganza. After receiving an official letter from Greece’s chamber of tourism promising a luxurious stay, it is decided that they will grace the town of Mykonos with their presence (and cameras).

But before they can jet off to beautiful Greece, there are a few orders of business to attend to. Here’s what went down…

Kim’s Never-Ending Divorce Comes to a Close
Kim Kardashian has some major problems. First, her feet are so swollen and she might have to give up wearing high heels. Gasp. Second, she is scared of getting “brutalized” in the press for wearing a crop top. And lastly, she just can’t get rid of that pesky husband Kris Humphries no matter how hard she tries.

Lucky for Kim, Kris finally agrees to a settlement and signs the papers, making Kim a free woman who can have a baby with another man. Oh, wait. She is already doing that. Either way, Kim is elated but admits that she still wants to talk to Kris because it bothers her that he thinks she never loved him. But she did! For 72 days!

Surprise! Throwing a Party for Kourtney Ain’t Easy
Scott Disick makes good on last week’s promise to become a better person and decides to throw a surprise birthday party for his baby mama Kourtney Kardashian before the family departs for their trip. Super-sister Khloé Kardashian is enlisted to come up with an invite list, and, as usual, the whole family – including “Kim and fetus” – are invited to the fete.

The night of the party arrives. Confetti is scattered, everyone is doing shots… there’s only one problem (and they can’t just spray it with Windex)… the birthday girl is missing. The family resorts to its favorite pastime: talking smack about Scott, who apparently isn’t even capable of getting his beloved to the restaurant on time. Unfortunately, a frustrated Scott is attempting to push Kourtney out the door, but she is “moving at the pace of a newborn child.” An hour after her expected arrival, Kourt strolls in and a delicious Greek feast is enjoyed by all. Opa!

Rob Deals with Some Weighty Issues
Kim’s belly isn’t the only thing that has gotten noticeably larger this season. Rob Kardashian has definitely packed on some major pounds, and the big problem is really starting to weigh on him. After convincing Brody Jenner to go on the family vacation to Greece so they can pick up ladies together, Rob bails on the trip altogether at the last minute citing prior work commitments. Unfortunately for Rob, this excuse doesn’t quite work because Kris is his manager and knows his schedule by heart. The family quickly realizes that it isn’t work holding Rob back, but the number on the scale.

Brody’s Step-Mommy Issues Are Unearthed
Brody Jenner seems to be over the problems with dad Bruce Jenner, but all is not kosher between him and step-mom Kris Jenner. Brody is upset to discover that he wasn’t invited on the family trip to Greece with the rest of the clan (even though his brother Brandon and wife Leah were), and confronts his father about being left out. A confused Bruce promises to confront Kris about the issue. Kris attempts to ignore Bruce’s inquiry about whether or not Brody’s invite got lost in the mail by dangling a sheer bra in front of his face, but Bruiser won’t be deterred. Finally Kris relents, agreeing to “try to make it happen, but it’s going to be tough with the flights.” Because, obviously, there is only one plane that goes into the entire country of Greece. Later, Kris tells Bruce that she isn’t the “step-monster everyone thinks I am” and informs him she’s arranged for Brody to go to Greece — on a different flight from the rest of the Kardashians.

Let the Vacation Begin!
Buckle your seat belts Mykonos, the Kardashians are coming! According to Khloé, the family is ready to “live like the Gods and Goddesses of Mount Olympus,” because their real lives aren’t decadent enough. Brody, Brandon and Leah arrive first and start the vacation off right – with a quick swim followed by some good old Kris Jenner bashing. The trio expresses their concern about her lack of respect for Bruce, and Brody hammers home his disappointment at not being invited on the trip initially.

Khloé, Kim and Kris are next to arrive at the airport in Greece. The girls are greeted by the mayor of Mykonos, who, despite a dire economic depression, is available to shower the girls with gifts and flowers. After fawning over their beautiful Greek villa, the family sits down to dinner. The meal quickly turns awkward when Kris and Brody exchange jabs but never address their real issues. That’s for Part 2.

Khloé’s Biggest Fears Revealed
It isn’t a good episode of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” without a classic zinger from Khloé. Apparently, her biggest fears in life are whales and belly buttons. That is all.

Next week: Kim shows off her baby bump in a bikini, the girls get a fish pedicure, Kendall is left out of the family activities, and a drunk Kris smashes some plates. See you then!

“Keeping Up with the Kardashians” airs Sundays at 9/8c on E!

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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