By Jeff Sneider
Renaissance man James Franco submitted himself before the Comedy Gods, allowing friends Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill and Bill Hader, among others, to roast him on Sunday evening at Culver Studios.
Most of the roasters poked fun of Franco’s sexuality, while Hader’s future after leaving “Saturday Night Live” was a hot topic of discussion.
TheWrap was on the scene for the taping of Comedy Central’s Roast of James Franco, which will air Monday, Sept. 2. But in the meantime, here’s a taste of some of the evening’s best jokes. We’ll see which ones make the final cut.
1. Seth on James Franco: “He once told me he worked for 36 hours straight, which I didn’t believe. The straight part, of course.
2. Seth to James Franco: “Look at me doing all the talking while you sit there doing nothing. I feel like I’m hosting the Oscars with you!”
3. Jeff Ross: “When Jonah Hill’s agent told him Quentin Tarantino wanted him to be in a spaghetti western, Jonah said ‘you had me at spaghetti.'”
4. Bill Hader on the Seth Rogen-Barbra Streisand movie “The Guilt Trip”: “If I wanted to watch two ugly Jews weaving through traffic I’d watch Seinfeld’s web series.”
5. Sarah Silverman to Bill Hader: “It’s funny you’re doing an ad for a phone now that you don’t need one anymore. I’m gonna miss you in show business.”
6. Jeff Ross: “James Franco is half-Italian, half-asleep. He’s a disgrace to Italian actors. James Gandolfini must be trying to roll over in his grave.”
7. Seth Rogen: “Judd Apatow was going to direct this but Comedy Central didn’t want it to be 40 minutes too long.”
8. Nick Kroll to James Franco: “Did you bone Anne Hathaway? Squint once if yes. If James opens his eyes tonight we get six more weeks of summer.”
9. Jeff Ross to Seth Rogen: “I saw your mall cop movie, It made me realize what a funny guy Kevin James is.”
10. Jeff Ross: “Jonah Hill was going to be in the last Transformers movie but they cut the role of the car that transformed into a giant asshole after it was nominated for an Oscar.”
11. Jonah Hill to Andy Samberg: “I have a question. When your new TV show, ‘Brooklyn Nine Nine,’ gets canceled after five episodes, are you going to do a different cell phone commercial or will they make Bill’s a two-hander?”
12. Jonah to Sarah Silverman: “You were one of my favorite comedians as a kid. I don’t get why people say she’s hot for a comic. She’s not hot for a comic, she’s hot for her age.”
13. Jonah on Seth Rogen’s “The Green Hornet”: “That’s the goal, right Seth? To make terrible movies that don’t lost that much money.”