Quick Note: We’re going to be bringing you all kinds of “Survivor” fun this season including episode recaps, exit interviews, and Power Rankings with Malcolm Freberg. Be sure to follow me on Twitter (@gordonholmes) for up-to-the-minute news and info.
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The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Tyson is voted out this week, Malcolm will receive 1 point and Gordon will receive 5 points. Also, each player will pick the players they think will win at Redemption Island. They’ll receive a bonus point for each correct pick. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Blood vs. Water” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.
NOTE: If a current player decides to swap places with their loved one at Redemption Island, they’ll also swap places in the rankings. For example, if Monica swaps places with Brad, Brad will take the 10th spot in both Malcolm’s and Gordon’s rankings.
Last Week: Malcolm had Brad in spot 13, Gordon had him in 12. Malcolm had both of the Codys surviving at Redemption, Gordon only had Candice. So, the score for this round is Team Malcolm 15, Team Gordon 13. The current total score is Team Malcolm 56, Team Gordon 55.
Wager Update: Since Gordon lost last week’s competition, he has to compare each ranked competitor to an animated character. The loser of this week’s rankings will have to compare the competitors to Keanu Reeves movie roles.
|Malcolm’s Current Score: 56
Any advice for Malcolm? Drop him a line on Twitter: @MalcolmWHW
Gordon’s Current Score: 55
Any advice for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes
| 1. Tyson – I’m bored leaving people in the same top spots all the time, so I’m semi-arbitrarily shuffling my list. Tyson is my favorite so this was overdue, but I’ve been waiting for some legitimate hi-jinx to affirm my affection, and finally we got some. If Galang refuses to talk strategy, they deserve to be coconut water deprived, and dammit, the Coconut Bandits are going to do it. The fact that they bonded over this and formed a tight two is a good thing too I suppose, but significantly less important than the inherent hilarity.
|| 1. Tina is Velma from “Scooby Doo” – She’s smart, she’s respected, and she’s not a physical threat. In her alliance of five we’ve got Fred’s leadership putting a target on his back, Daphne’s loud husband putting a target on her back, and Scooby and Shaggy sneaking off to steal Scooby Snacks. Meanwhile, Velma just kicks back and enjoys her position as the least meddling kid.
| 2. Gervase – I’m coming to terms with the idea that my opinion on Gervase will change on a weekly basis, and this week I love him. No obnoxious yelling at the challenges? Check. Being a member of my new favorite absurd alliance? Check. Saying to Monica what all of Galang was thinking about her husband? Check. Also, am I the only one who heard ‘koo-doos’?
|| 2. Hayden is Launchpad McQuack from “DuckTales” – He’s big, he’s likable, and his tribe manages to crash every challenge during the landing. Not only that, but apparently he was loyal enough to Brad to risk pulling rocks in a tie breaker. This game is like a hurricane.
|3. Vytas – We didn’t get shown if there was any communication between Hayden and Vytas before the re-vote, but considering Hayden’s struggle I’m guessing there wasn’t? So Vytas single handedly and independently kept the tribe from going to rocks? So Vytas is the new Cochran? …no, that’s not fair. Vytas made a good call to preserve his game and didn’t hurt his position. And he doesn’t wear glasses. And he’s not ginger. And he’s done a push-up before.|| 3. Vytas is Bugs Bunny – He’s probably the smartest guy out there, everybody seems to like him, but he has a bit of a dark side. Vytas probably didn’t love having to send the game’s big shield packing, but that’s much better than being sent to Redemption Island because you grabbed the wrong rock. Now we can watch him strike out the rest of the cast like they’re the Gas House Gorillas.
| 4. Tina – Didn’t participate in the challenge, didn’t comment on Brad, didn’t talk about mysteriously drained coconuts. But quiet is good for Tina’s game at this stage and drama is bad, so while her family members watching at home are disappointed, they shouldn’t be – their girl’s in good shape.
|| 4. Gervase is Tramp from “Lady and the Tramp” – “You can never tell when he’ll show up, he gives you plenty of trouble. I guess he’s just a no-count pup…but I wish that he were double.” Gervase’s list of “Survivor” offenses is long; he has insulted women, he took a breather during a challenge, he talked trash after a challenge, he snuck out to drink coconuts. But, nobody cares. Everybody loves Gervase.
| 5. Hayden – Has anyone ever crossed out a name indecisively at Tribal before this? Watching his wheels spin at the vote could be read as the goofy guy that can’t figure out what’s going on, but he’s already proven via confessional he understands the game, so I’m interpreting it as him weighing all the implications of a re-vote switch. He ended up on the wrong side of it, but it’s an easy enough mistake to explain away and shouldn’t hurt him.
|| 5. Tyson is Stewie Griffin from “Family Guy” – What the deuce? Mr Apostol says the most hilarious, inappropriate things, but the only people who can hear him are a cartoon dog and a television audience. Fortunately for Tyson, I haven’t seen a cartoon dog wandering around Galang beach.
| 6. Aras – Not a Coconut Bandit and thus not my favorite anymore. This blatant offense against communist Galang would not be digested well by their noble leader Aras, who probably won ‘Best Sharer’ in kindergarten. Seriously though, the other two guys bonding without him is a red flag he’s unaware of, and the Baskasfkawkeaksdkas brothers are going to stand out as the biggest combined threat soon. I’m sticking with my preseason prediction that this perception hurts Aras more than Vytas.
|| 6. Katie is Rapunzel from “Tangled” – At every turn Rapunzel gets shut down by her more experienced mother. But, she seems likable enough and knows how to cook.
| 7. Laura M. – Listen lady — I’ve been in your corner since pre-season, but you’ve got to stop getting teary eyed whenever you wipe the floor with Ciera (says the guy with no kids and whose Mom let him win things occasionally). Completely unacceptable. I hate when Gervase brags, but I’d love to see you spike a puzzle piece in celebration.
||7. Aras is Ned Flanders from “The Simpsons” – Well, hey-diddly-ho there, tribemate-areeno… Who loves Aras? Everybody! What’s not to love? He’s a great guy, he’s a hard worker, he’s ridiculously positive. Who wants to go to the end with him? Nobody! And now that Tyson and Gervase realize this, it could be bad news for the former champ.|
| 8. Laura B. – Attention Future Survivors: WEAR TIE DYE. You will look silly and I will mock you for it, but I’m now convinced it gives you +10 challenge prowess. Lady Boneham is proving to be capable in the water, but is unforgivably lacking in crab dietary knowledge.
|| 8. Laura M. is Popeye from…uh…”Popeye” – Laura M. is basically the iconic sailor man, except instead of getting her power from spinach, Laura gets her power from crushing her daughter’s hopes and dreams. (Note: I went with Popeye because I have no idea how good Jessica Rabbit is at puzzles.)
| 9. Caleb – I never thought I’d be jealous of Colton Cumbie. Just last week I wrote things about Caleb ‘quietly maneuvering’ and not being a force — what a chuckle Tadhana must have been having at my expense. On principle, I love his taking control and fighting instead of just accepting the results of whatever Brad decided. I love the insight that Brad’s poor leadership, even considering his muscle, could possibly be the reason they were losing. I love that he did it loud and proud and last minute at Tribal, and now John has competition for my heart. The problem is now he’s the figurehead leader on a really bad tribe, and that’s not a great spot. Just ask Brad.
|| 9. Laura B. is Invisible Smurf from “The Smurfs” – Remember the one Smurf that was all important in the beginning, but then Gargamel made him invisible and it’s like he never existed? Except occasionally you’d see him during Smurfberry reward challenges? That’s Laura.
| 10. Monica – So everyone everywhere on Earth thinks throwing the clue away was brilliant because she kept a target off herself. And, as much as I was yelling at the TV when it happened, it probably was the right move for Monica. But because we’re likely to see that exact situation again, and because I’m kind of weird in that I like having idols in my pocket, I argue that some other castaways should keep a clue if it’s given to them. This was the right move for Monica because she’s not a power player – her best bet to win is to not take over the game but to fade into the background and slip to the end. That is not, however, a winning strategy for everyone. People who are viewed as threats and/or driving forces in the game, currently people like Caleb or Vytas or Aras, could use an idol to great effect. John’s epic mishandling of the situation shouldn’t scare everyone else off. Because of the public nature of the clues it has to be handled carefully and creatively, but the idol is still a massive advantage and weapon if used properly. So good move Monica, but it shouldn’t necessarily be mimicked every week.
|| 10. Monica is LeFou from “Beauty and the Beast” – If Brad is this season’s big, burly, not-quite-aware-of-what-people-really-think-of-him Gaston, then surely Monica is his sidekick LeFou. I liked the move to burn the clue. If John wasn’t able to find the idol with two clues, I’d assume it’d be tough to find it with just one. So, she was figuratively burning a target that the Codys were trying to place on her back. From this week’s preview it looks like Monica offers to take Brad’s place at Redemption Island. But I can’t imagine he’ll let her. “No one takes Tribal Council abuse like Gaston…”
|11. Katie – She makes funny faces at tribal and she’s not as terrible as Ciera. So yeah.||11. Caleb is Pinky from “Pinky and the Brain” – A mismatched duo where the smart one always gets it wrong and the supposedly simple one gets it right? Works for me. Now here’s hoping Caleb‘s last-minute move doesn’t make him to risky to keep around.|
| 12. Kat – I’m really thrown by who gets told to sit out for Galang. I understand the logic behind not letting Kat do a puzzle, but why not rowing? For whatever reason, she’s on the bottom of a tribe that never has to go to Tribal, but once they do she’s going camping with the Codys.
|| 12. Kat is Ariel from “The Little Mermaid” – The question is; who’s the Ursula who stole her voice?
|13. Ciera – No one is more thrilled than I that you got bailed out bigger than Wall Street last week, but it still may be a temporary stay of execution. Your tribe hasn’t won a thing, and all the boys seem to get along and think you’re about as useful as a doodie-flavored lollipop. As much as I don’t want you this low, you have to be until there’s some sort of switch/merge.||13. Ciera is the Baby from the “Tom and Jerry” episode “Tot Watchers” – I know this one is obscure, but stay with me. Remember the one where Tom and Jerry have to watch after a baby and it gets away and crawls into a construction site? There are a dozen times where the baby should be a goner, but blind luck keeps saving it. Now, is the Five Guys breakup the steel beam Ciera needs to keep crawling, or has her luck finally run out?|
|Redemption Island Picks: Candice and John – Brad’s ego isn’t going to let his wife sub in, which actually increases the odds of him surviving his first truel. But I, along with the rest of the civilized world, am rooting for the Codys so hard my heart hurts. Also, can we discuss “Survivor” potentially giving us a “Hunger Games,” Peeta and Katniss scenario? What if they’re both at the last RI before re-entering the game and it could be the greatest “Survivor” love story ever? Do the Codys get a shot at double Redemption?||Redemption Island Picks: Candice and John are The Wonder Twins from “Super Friends” – They don’t quite fit in with everyone else, but you’d better watch out when they’re together. The only difference is instead of animals or water-based items, these two transform into challenge juggernauts. Bad news for Mr. Culpepper.|
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