Letterman ‘Top Ten’: Who Won’t Be Cast in ‘Fifty Shades’ Movie: Watch

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David Letterman has no idea who should be cast in the lead male role — as Christian Grey — in the movie adaptation of the erotic novel “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

But he has a pretty clear idea who shouldn’t be cast — anyone who fulfills any of the criteria he listed Tuesday night in a “Top Ten” titled the “Top Ten Signs You Won’t Be Cast In ’50 Shades of Grey’.”

The list, delivered on Letterman’s CBS “Late Show,” resulted from the news this past weekend that Charlie Hunnam, the star of “Sons of Anarchy” on FX, had withdrawn from the “Fifty Shades” movie in which he had been cast earlier this year as Grey. The news led to widespread speculation over who might take his place.

That question remains unanswered, but Letterman’s list of disqualifications for the role included:

“No. 7: People magazine voted you the least sexy person alive!”

“No. 3 You’re often mistaken for Andy Dick!”

And “No. 2: Filming graphic sex scenes goes against your Amish beliefs!”

Wanna see the rest of them? Watch the clip — above.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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