Wait a minute…why is XFINITY’s “Survivor” dork doing “Big Brother” Power Rankings?
The truth? CBS got tired of my smart mouth. They’re sick of my braggadocios ways.
You see, for the past four seasons I have been taking their precious Survivors to Power Rankings school. Let’s look at the hit list; Kat Edorsson fell in “Survivor: Philippines,” Michael Skupin was bested in “Survivor: Caramoan,” Malcolm Freberg was defeated in “Survivor: Blood vs. Water,” and Ciera Eastin was dropped in “Survivor: Cagayan.”
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So, CBS threw out another challenge. If I’m so smart, let’s see how well I do with “Big Brother.”
(Honestly, I don’t know much about “Big Brother.” But, I have never let being woefully under-qualified stop me from doing things in the past, so why start now?)
They counter with former “Big Brother” champ, “Amazing Race” finalist, and reality TV expert Rachel E. Reilly as my opponent.
Realizing I’m way out of my league, I reach into my bag and bring out an immunity idol. They inform me that “Big Brother” doesn’t have immunity idols.
Apparently I’m in some serious trouble…
The Rules: Each week our two combatants will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Donny is voted out this week, Rachel will receive 16 points and Gordon will receive 15 points. At the end of the season, the person with the most points will be named the “Big Brother” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.
Quick Note: “Big Brother” is always going on. These Rankings were handed in Monday.
Rachel’s Score = 0
Gordon’s Score = 0
Any advice for Gordon? Drop him a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes
|1. Caleb – As reigning HOH and “Go with the House” mentality, Caleb will be the most safe this week. He’s making alliances with everyone which will set him up nicely in the house and he’s going with the house on who to nominate and who to back door this week. His BFF for the week Frankie, is listening to whatever he tells him; AND the Bomb Squad alliance he’s made guarantees that he should be safe at least for one more week. I see him working with the HOH next week and keeping his alliance to all the boys. He’s good as long as he doesn’t let his crush on Amber get in the way.||1. Caleb – Alright, I normally wouldn’t be cool with someone wearing a hat in their Power Rankings photo, but Caleb killed it this week, so I’ll let it slide. He won HOH, his nominations lost Battle of the Block, and he founded the dominant “Bomb Squad” alliance. And, he did all of it from the comfort of his nest-shaped bed. Here’s the thing though; they have alliances of eight people in “Survivor” too. They’re called “Tribes.” A group that big is going to splinter quickly, so he’s going to have to stay on top of things.|
| 2. Frankie – Frankie made a smart choice this week working with Caleb and being his BFF and Bomb Squad alliance member. There’s no way that Caleb would go against his HOH promise to Frankie. I have to say of all the houseguests this season Frankie stands out the MOST to me, for personality, “Big Brother” knowledge and because he’s a HUGE fan! He may be able to get everyone in his back pocket. I see him teaming up with all the girls, but I also see him aligning with the boys since he is in great shape. His likeable, outgoing, fun personality will get him far in the game and help him win him over allies. His competitive nature and skills from Broadway dance training should help him in the physical competitions and the endurance competitions. He should also have the skills to manipulate the HOH to do what he needs!
|| 2. Christine – The Bomb Squad Belle is in an awesome position right now. She was brought into the main alliance almost against her will and if anyone’s upset about her being there, it’s all Devin’s fault. She also has an adorable side alliance with Nicole. (Team Glasses? Eight Eyes? I’m bad at this alliance-naming thing.) Best of all, she seems designed to play under the radar. She has all the time in the world to set things up just the way she wants to.
| 3. Amber – Amber is safe this week since Caleb is in love with her and she’s not about to piss off the HOH. She’s becoming BFF with the girls and now as an honorary member of the BOMB Squad she has an in with most of the house.
|| 3. Cody – In “Survivor” when everyone else is playing hard, you sit back. When everyone’s chilling, you step it up. If the same holds true for “Big Brother,” Bomb Squad members who aren’t named Caleb, Devin, or Frankie should be hanging back and making plans for a post-Bomb Squad world.
| 4. Christine – Christine is now an honorary member of the Bomb Squad and also is BFF with most of the houseguests and especially the girls in the house. She is also my second pick to go far or win it all! She’s likeable and a big fan of the game which means she will be able to pick apart any crazy twist and may have an edge on the other houseguests. I see her having friends all over the house and not joining one big alliance. I don’t know how she will perform in competitions, but if needed I think she may be able to pull out a veto win or two.
||4. Amber – The Bomb Squad Bombshell isn’t going anywhere this week. It doesn’t hurt your chances when the most powerful person in the game has a giant crush on you.|
| 5. Cody – Cody is part of the Bomb Squad and also BFF with all the boys! All the girls love him and there’s NO WAY he would be considered as a veto replacement.
|| 5. Derrick – OK, if “Survivor” has taught me anything, it’s that cops should create spy shacks and stab everyone in the back. But, if Derrick wants to go another route, he could just make side alliances while waiting for the inevitable Bomb Squad explosion.
| 6. Zach – Zach is part of the Bomb Squad and also BFF with Frankie who is in Caleb’s ear constantly determining what needs to happen next. Most of the girls like Zach and wouldn’t throw his name out as a possible replacement this week. I thought he was in trouble but has toned down his game substantially and is even gaining allies.
|| 6. Brittany – Kudos to Brittany; she took her nomination like a champ and won her way off of the block. Now she needs to find her plan B. Who can she work with that will help her get through the Bomb Squad era?
| 7. Derrick – Derrick is part of the Bomb Squad and in a bromance with Caleb. He hasn’t really made a lot of TRUE alliances with the girls but he is still a pretty likeable guys guy and is laying low in the house!
||7. Frankie – How much do I love Frankie? Enough to Google “Ariana Grande.” Apparently, she’s a singer. (What do you want from me? I’m old.) He had a solid first week, but he made one major mistake. He made an enemy out of Victoria when she would have been a nice little side alliance. His reason for picking her was crap, too. Because Caleb took the names he wanted to pick? There are like a dozen other keys in there, dude! So, his next step should probably be to send her packing. Can’t have someone targeting you.|
| 8. Brittany – Brittney wouldn’t be put up as a replacement since Caleb seems to respect her and she was also already nominated this week. She’s TRYING to become BFFs with the girls and she’s trying to work on being cool with the guys. Brittney is my third pick to win it all this season she is very likeable and seems like she will get along with the houseguests well. I see her aligning with the girls and also having a side alliance with the boys. I think she will try to be in one strong alliance which may hurt her. She seems competitive, has the drive and wants to win so I could see a few HOH wins from her, and I think under pressure she could win a veto if needed.
|| 8. Zach – Zach Attack! I’m guessing you might be too young to get the “Saved by the Bell” reference there. Are you and the Bomb Squad going to be “Friends Forever”? Super doubtful. But, Caleb and Devin are not going to last long on top of your alliance. Bide your time and play your cards right and you’ll be fine.
| 9.Victoria – As Frankie’s nominee she wouldn’t be considered as a replacement nominee for Caleb. Even though Victoria has been a little dramatic on the block, most of the girls like her and isn’t even considered a target by anyone in the house.
||9. Nicole – Who is Nicole bothering? Nobody! She’s adorable! She likes to cuddle! She occasionally pees her pants! And she is unrecognizable without her giant glasses. Maybe that’s a strategy she could employ; pretend to be two people with a Superman/Clark Kent-esque costume change.|
| 10. Hayden – Hayden, Nicole and Jocasta are pretty safe this week. They aren’t making anyone mad, they are making friends and having fun. Hayden and Nicole even have a little romance going on and possibly a showmance. Hayden isn’t in the Bomb Squad but since he’s friends with most of the girls he shouldn’t really be on anyone’s radar at least not this week.
||10. Victoria – OK, your opening alliance with Frankie didn’t quite work out the way you wanted it to. But, your win has bought you time to turn those lemons into lemonade. If I’m you, I’m really making Frankie feel bad about the nomination. He doesn’t seem like someone who is cool when people don’t like him. Make him earn his way back into your good graces.|
| 11. Nicole – See Hayden
||11. Hayden – Hayden Voss! Your name is so close to former “Big Brother” champ and “Survivor” dreamboat Hayden Moss! Are you dating a cute, fun-loving, pre-jury blonde named Nat Vedorsson? Anywho, I’m thinking it can’t be a good sign that you were one of the only guys left out of the Bomb Squad.|
| 12. Jocasta – See Nicole
|| 12. Devin – Worst thing you can do to me in real life is wake me up early in the morning. The worst thing you could do to me on “Big Brother” is add people to our alliance without telling me first. Devin did both. I’m thinking Arkansas (I call him that cause he looks like Little Rock) is playing too hard, too fast. He should have a sitdown with Caleb and smooth things over ASAP.
| 13. Joey – Joey could be in trouble if the veto gets used. She told people about the girls’ alliance so the girls feel that they can’t trust her.
|| 13. Joey – Joey’s hilarious facial expressions? Awesome. Her letting the girls’ alliance cat out of the bag? Less so. She isn’t someone who would make a normal first target, so why is she giving people reasons?
| 14. Paola – Pow Pow has to be careful since she is on the block, one wrong move and she may just piss some people in the house off and go home. She’s working on becoming friends with the girls and hasn’t really gone crazy as a nominee. She’s really bad at the competitions so far. Which means there’s a good chance no one considers her a threat.
|| 14. Jocasta – “Big Brother” sure seems like a young person’s game and I’m worried that Jocasta isn’t going to fit in. Love the bow ties, though.
| 15. Devin – Devin is in HOT water for bringing two girls into the bomb squad alliance. He is also rubbing some of the girls the wrong way. He’s not making friends quickly and is acting like he should have a big say in all HOH actions this week. Will the boys keep him for numbers and as a target or will they want to sever ties with him since he’s proving he doesn’t keep secrets very well!
||15. Donny – I’m not going to get too brave with my final two picks this week. I think the only way the Power of Veto is going to come into play is if Donny or Paola wins it. It doesn’t seem like anyone else would be too keen on saving them at this point. So, why Donny over Paola? Because I think if Devin relaxes about the spaghetti jokes, he’ll realize that having Donny in his pocket is a good thing.|
| 16. Donny – Donny is the target for the house this week. He will have to win veto or he will have to work out a deal with the HOH. If he can work out a deal even if he doesn’t win veto he could still guarantee his safety. Typically, in Big Brother we see the FIRST HOH nominate a replacement if the veto is played. The replacement is typically the target who will go home. He is very likable but someone has to go home the first week.
|| 16. Paola – I think Paola is a goner unless the Power of Veto competition involves advanced harmonic mixing (yes, I Googled ‘DJ techniques’ too). With an alliance as big as the Bomb Squad running things right now, you’re a nice easy first vote that won’t rattle too many cages.
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