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The Raanan Rankings: Preseason

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NFL's No. 1-32

By Jordan Raanan, XFINITY Sports NFL Columnist

I know. I'm not Lee Russakoff. I'm younger, dumber and strikingly better looking, none of which really have anything to do with being handed the daunting task of taking over the coveted XFINITY Sports NFL power rankings.

My power rankings will be different. They will not be (completely) subjective, they'll be objective. Every week each team will be graded in five categories—offense, defense, special teams, quarterback and coaching—on a 1-5 basis, with 1 having the stench of JaMarcus Russell and 5 smelling like Tom Brady. (FYI: I assume Tom Brady smells like Stetson even after five hours in uniform. Seriously, what can't that guy do?) Scores will be tabulated and teams ranked. Ties will be broken based first on wins and then on quarterback (the two most important things in football).

I know. This is deeply scientific. It took me years to put together this insanely complex formula. Wish me luck.

(Note: For the preseason rankings only, all teams with rookie coaches were given a 2 out of 5. And ties were broken based on last year's win totals.)

Jordan Raanan has covered the NFL since 2005. Follow him on Twitter @JordanRaanan or email him at (AP Photos)

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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